Traks news nailed - 27 April 2008

stinkyboy · Joined: 07 Mar 2007 Posts: 1811 Location: yes, twice yes!

27th April 2008

evening soiled minions of corruption, irrelevant semi-grotesques and daffodil munchers everywhere.
A few items of interest to remove the rigidity of your vacant scheduled lives...

Wot? No email department.
I haven't been sending emails out because I've been posting news on the Traktors news page...so there.
Seems some (both) of you hadn't realised. Dorks (Duffuses, thank you James). That's where it's going
to be found in future.
However I might send out the odd email regarding important (as opposed to earth shattering global events)
Traktory things occasionally. Most likely when we need your help to marshal events which of course
is my next point of dishonour.

May 4th, a day to go down in infamy.
The first of this years Mighty Bedford Sprint Series based at Robinson pool.
Some help setting up on Saturday afternoon would be appreciated but the real need as always is Sunday
morning marshalling duties.
Can you twitch, shuffle, moan, obfusticate, impale, imperil, feign indifference, give misleading
directions, act gormless, clueless or otherwise reprehensibly foolish, make indifferent gestures, expel
unpleasant odours and generally inconvenience triathletes going about their competitive business.
Then you are perfect marshal material and we are hiring big time.
For your early morning appearance (7am or earlier) on Sunday you receive goody bags, t-shirts,
pizza in the evening at Santaniello and just about no thanks whatsoever. Sounds grand Gromit!
Let Steve or myself know your willingness to donate your body to a worthy cause (any uncollected
at the end will be left by the cricket pavilion for the wino's and druggies - mainly town councillors and local
MPs - to have something comfortable to sit on while going about their post triathlon debrief).
Thank you for helping out in case we don't thank you on the day (entirely possible considering previous
encounters with marshal type dross).

Gimme all your money...now or the (insert name of least favourite relative) gets it department
Yet again a year has passed (since I wrote my note...thanks for all your groovy help there Mr. Sting, now
bog off) since you last raided your favourite hiding place and extracted £10 membership fee to belong
to our quaint but delightfully misshapen club. So if you haven't coughed it's about time you did.
Your glorious donation helps fund swimming on Tuesdays, ensures you can partake in cycling timetrials
(we are affiliated to RTTC/CTT) and upon presentation of your membershit card gives you 10% off "stuff"
purchased at Priory Marina Cycles (our sponsor). Cards are in production and if you want to avoid various
members of the Adams family/Munsters appearing instead of you on them you need to send me a jpg of
your evil bloaty visage. Then I can incorporate into the fabric of space and time (I mean your card). I can
scan passport photo's and return but but anything untoward might (will be) kept and used for blackmail
purposes.

Enough garrulous tweetings, Max gone!
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grbls rx kthxbi - that was a public information message.